Funny interview with an Azerbaijani citizen

J – journalist

C – citizen

Society in Azerbaijan

J: Thank you for joining us and sharing your views on various issues about Azerbaijani people.

C: You are welcome. I am expecting tricky questions…So I will try to be honest as much as my pride and conscience allow.

J: So let us start with the society. It has been about twenty years since Azerbaijan became independent. Was it hard for people to transfer from communistic society to the capitalistic?

C: It was definitely hard since we were at war during the first years of independence. So people have gone through enormous stress and dejection. But Capitalism caught Azeri people or well I would say the whole post-soviet populations off guard. People were used to the fact that the communist government would ensure jobs, food and security for them. But capitalism told them: “You are on your own, help yourself, survive!”. Certainly this was shocking for them. Here in Azerbaijan we call it the transformation period that lasted till the petroleum dollars started slowly trickling down to our budget.

J: As one of the most ancient countries, land of fire, the land where Noah landed, an oil rich country – how do Azeri people feel? Are they happy?

C: They feel proud for their motherland and happy to live in an oil rich country. And they are unhappy to realize that most of them will not have direct access to this “blessing”. This is the curse of capitalism!

J: You seem not to like capitalism so much. Would you like to have the same old times of communism?

C: No. Currently I do not find any system running the society fairly and justly. I am too idealistic or too utopic. I see and understand that modern people are acting upon their desires, greed, the feeling of being superior to others, owning more than others, being better than others…This is incurable until men become angels…

J: So how do Azeri people tackle the stress of capitalism?

C: Usually, just like as any Easterner or Westerner. Our people like you in the west use alcohol to fall into oblivion or find consolation in lotteries just like yourselves. The only difference would be tackling bigger psychological problems. You go to a psychologist and we don’t.

J: And what is your method of curing psychological diseases? (Sceptically looking with an irony)

C: We have our own formula (smiling). People in Azerbaijan, especially women use the services of fortune-tellers. You see, in our society the notions of psychiatrist and psychologist are considered equally dangerous for health and equally damaging for reputation. One session and the nicks such as “psychopath”, “mentally ill”, “schizophrenic” would stick to you till the end of your life. So people prefer “traditional cure methods”.

J: So as contrast to Western countries, the occupation of psychologist is not so profitable in your country, I guess.

C: I would not say so. Since the demand for fortune-tellers is high and there should be an equal supply. So any psychologist can easily “convert” to being a fortune-teller. Their studies will only help them to deal with the same problem. The biggest psychological problem for modern Azeri people is to identify the roots of their stress and worries. They do not blame capitalism or the government; they are too superstitious for this. Instead, they blame their neighbors, relatives, and friends. Any misfortune in the career or in life can be blamed on “the curse” or “the witchcraft” by a jealous relative or neighbor. Fortune-tellers are cure for them, after disarming their clients with the all information needed they start making a “photo-robot” of a potential evil-doer never naming names since they have dignity and they do not want to cause hardships in the family.

The procedure is very simple: An average Azeri housewife comes to the fortune-teller with problems such as my husband treats me rudely, my child has bad grades in the university or our business failed… The fortune-teller asks her to tell more detailed story, name names, show photos of family members, neighbors and name the people she suspects of making a “jadu” on her family. Let me clarify, “jadu” is a term used for casting a spell on somebody. It is usually little belongings that are wrapped into paper or some other material and dropped into the sea or somewhere else. By the way, it was on local news when Azeri cleaners of national boulevard (national park) complained about enormous number of these envelopes that people throw into the sea…Anyways, the fortune-teller immediately “recognizes” the evil-doer and casts a mutual spell on him. This is a never ending process and it is very profitable in every sense. You don’t even have to pay taxes since your income is not official.

J: What about the confidentiality? Where is the guarantee that the information won’t slip out?

C: I guess there is no guarantee. Well, there is also a political scent to it. Only imagine how much information is being circulated among these so called fortune-tellers. This information is priceless especially if it is somehow concerning government issues. Modern fortune-tellers are brilliantly filling the role of the medieval catholic priests who used to turn a blind eye on confidentiality and uncover some of the confessions of simple-hearted believers about a plot or some other secret plans.

J: Do you visit a fortune-teller?

C: No, I am one of those unlucky members of the society who has not drank a magic elixir. I am too self-critical to see faults and blame others for my misfortunes. But I pity those people. Especially those who call themselves Muslims and by doing magic they go against the teachings of Holy Book.